“The winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was, with the understanding that this is a period of descent and rest, of going within our homes, within ourselves and taking in all that we have been through, all that has passed in this full year which is coming to a close…..
And yet the natural tug to go inwards as nearly all creatures are doing is strong and the weather so bitter that people are left feeling that winter is hard, because for those of us without burning fires and big festive families, it can be lonely and isolating. Whereas in actual fact winter is kind, she points us in her quiet soft way towards our inner self, towards this annual time of peace and reflection, embracing the darkness and forgiving, accepting and loving embracing goodbye the past year.
“Winter takes away the distractions, the buzz, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into a womb like love, bringing fire & light to our hearth”.
The above quote is from Venice Wyatt on Facebook, and shared with me by my friend and mentor Mary Jones.
Oh the rich wisdom in this quote! For years, I have struggled with winter. I always attributed it to being born in a warm, sunny climate. Yet as I was reading back into my old journals, I realized struggled with winter even in the south. The humid cold, the clouds, the rain. Here it’s the inversion, the dryness, the snow, the ice. It’s just winter. It happens every year. So why do I have such a hard time with it?
I’ve done a lot of research on Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it is real. I advise anyone struggling with depression in the winter, or any time, to seek help. The darkness and fatigue can be quite frightening. This is where I started. I realized I need more light, some activity, and a change in my vitamins. This season, these things have helped.
However, I still felt down and empty. I missed going outside. I was so tired when I got home from work. The more I fought it, the more tired I became. I am usually in tune with nature, but I couldn’t hear her song amidst all of this ice, cold, and my waning energy.
When I read the above mentioned article, I felt I could give myself permission to take a step back. It was the time and the season to rest. I’ve always felt it was important to “discern the seasons of your life “ (Thanks Rob Goyette, this one came from you!) So I have decided to find the balance between one of the busiest times of the year (especially for musicians, parents, everybody really), and the need to do something of a hibernation.
As much as I would love to go to bed or at least go to Arizona for the next 4 months, life doesn’t stop just because I’m tired and cold. However, I realize I can rest, even if it is in spurts. Some quiet time in the morning, even if it means getting up earlier. Curling up with a good book instead of my phone. Stretching my tired body. Letting go of some perfectionism. Spending time with friends, family, and those who could use a friend. And the occasional treat of the a Sunday nap!
There is no need for me to speed head on into the new year without some reflection of the one past. What am I thankful for? What do I need to change? Who do I need to nurture? What do I need to let go? So in between the shopping, the practicing, the cooking, the teaching, and the running, I will be breathing. Reflecting. Resting. Taking care of myself so I can be there for others, and accepting this season for what it has to offer. It is wrapped in a package I have often rejected and frankly hoped someone would take off my porch. But I will unwrap it, one icy layer at a time, and see the magic it has to offer.
Musings of a Southern Wanderer 